I've been praying for marriages lately because I understand the attack that has been launched against the sanctity of marriage and divine family order. The enemy's ultimate goal is to destroy our Country but he starts with the family first. He knows that if he can get the spiritual dynamics of the family twisted and distorted, he can eat away at the very fabric of what holds our Country together, THE FAMILY.
Husbands and wives and those seeking to get married, we have to go back to the biblical foundational principles of marriage, in order for God's will to prevail in our families. Most of us said these words when we got married: To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do ... As hard as these vows may be to keep at times, it's our covenant to each other as husband and wife. The bible says:
Gen. 2:18, 21-24
The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
This was God's first recorded surgery. He took one of man's ribs and made the woman. Remember, Adam was sleeping and when he awoke he said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh". There was no physical attraction here because Adam was sleep and when he awoke, Eve just appeared. He knew there was spiritual attraction that had taken place and he quickly recognized why she was there. She was there to HELP him. She was there to bring healing to him, comfort to him and encouragement to him. She was there to be his HELPMATE/HELPER. Husbands, it's time to recognize why God gave you a wife. She's a part of you, she came out of you to help you! The bible says, she's the weaker vessel. Not WEAK, but the weaker vessel. This simply means that she wasn't created to bare heavy burdens, carry around the worries of life, try to figure out where to go, what to do or raise children by herself. She was only created to HELP! We have too many women being put in a position to lead the family when that's not her responsibility. On the flip side, we have too many domineering women pushing their way into leadership, not giving their husbands an opportunity to lead because they want to be in control. Ladies, you can't get mad at him for not leading and not give him the opportunity to lead and space to make mistakes. The bible says,
New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Submission is not a curse word! Anything with two heads is a monster. It doesn't say wives let your husbands run over you and treat you like a dog. Another scripture says,
New International Version (NIV)25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.
Husbands, if you love your wife as Christ loved the church, you'll do whatever it takes to provide, make her feel safe, peaceful and content. Christ loved the church so much until He gave his life for it. How deep is your love? If we bring order back to our marriages, then we won't have wives trying to be the husband and husbands sitting back being jelly back and a push over, as if he was the weaker vessel. If you want to see the manifestation of the blessings of God then you must be willing to invite Him into an order-filled house! Our homes should be a place of PEACE and LOVE, not CHAOS and HATE!
My pastor taught my husband and I something years ago when we first got married. There is a big difference between a PRINCIPLE and an INCIDENT. Couples find themselves fussing and fighting over things that really don't matter. Neither party have the grace and the will to bring peace to the situation, everyone just wants to be right. When this occurs it makes everything ALL WRONG! Before you engage in or initiate an argument, ask yourself, is this a principle or an incident? A principle infers that whatever happened, happens ALL of the time. An incident infers that whatever happened, happened that one time. Seriously, was that last argument worth it? We create division and separation in our relationship just because someone isn't willing to be wrong or just ignore something. No one will do or say everything right all the time. Sometimes we have to acquiesce, agree without protest, accept without question. Is this easy? No, but it's necessary!
If you are engaged, make sure you're ready to die to yourself, in order for your marriage to live. Guys, make sure you're ready to lead and ladies make sure you're ready to submit. Know what the Word says about your roles and make a commitment to strive for an ordered-filled marriage. When my husband and I got married, we went in with an understanding that DIVORCE WASN'T AN OPTION. The problem with many is that they get married with an option. Thinking that you can "opt-out" your marriage and your commitment at anytime IS NOT GOD! No, you won't wake-up every morning feeling like you're in love, but in your heart you know that you love your spouse. Marriage isn't based on feelings, its based on commitment (Apostle Dannie Williams).
Today I want you to think about and list (5) things that YOU can do to make your relationship better and bring order to marriage. Notice I didn't say (5) things you want your spouse to do. It's time to look in the mirror and ask God to change "YOU", not your spouse, but "YOU". If there are some real deep seated issues that need to be dealt with, deal with it. If you need counseling, find a man or woman of God who can help you. Whatever it takes, make it happen! We spend time and money making sure our cars look good and run good. We spend a lot of money on gym memberships and salons trying to make sure we look good, BUT how much time and money do you put in trying to make sure your relationship runs good? Marriage seminars, books, retreats are a few things that we can invest in to increase the value of our marriage.
I'm convinced that our families will experience the break-throughs that we are searching for once we get back to God's divine and ordained order. My question to you is,
"HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE"?
Keep in mind that I know there are thousands of different marriage situations that may require other strategies to bring healing, hope and/or a peaceful resolution. At the end of the day, we must seek God about specific marriage issues. He knows all things!
The Purpose Coachwww.yolandapresley.com